Vienna
by Katana Black
Summary: Leon's been looking for love in all the wrong places, but finds it just when he needs it most. Because you can never have enough Strifehart. Warnings: yaoi, off-colour humour. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Hey there, readers. This is just a re-upload/completion of something I had written a while ago, for one of those Strifehart kink prompts. A little humour, a little drama, a little romance, all Strifehart. Enjoy!

* * *

**I**  
"Are you free?" On the other end of the line, Leon's voice sounded eerily dead to Cloud.

"What are you up to?"

"Just sitting on the edge of a bridge."

Cloud paused in his tracks, the flow of people on the sidewalk parting to move around him. Turning his bright blue eyes up to the similarly colored sky, he let loose a soft sigh. "Want me to come over?"

"Bring beer."

–

"You better have a shitting good reason for dragging me up here, Leonhart," Cloud grumbled, hunkering down beside the brunet and setting the six-pack of beer down on the side furthest from Leon. The 23-year-old worked as a delivery boy by day, bartender by night, but the couple of years he'd spent in the military certainly helped when he'd jogged out to where Leon sat atop the Golden Gate Bridge.

Leon deigned not to respond verbally, and only held out his hand. Cloud tore into the six-pack, taking out two bottles and handing one over to Leon. Twisting off the cap with his bare hand and flipping it into the river below, he took a long swallow before saying anything at all. "I'm...done," he said slowly, rolling the bottle between his palms.

Cloud's gaze focused on Leon, who only stared down at his hands. Moments turned into seconds, and when it was evident the brunet wasn't going to give much clarification, Cloud turned away with a snort. "That's it?" he said incredulously. "That's why you fucking called me up to this goddess-damned bridge in the middle of my very busy schedule? I should have let you jump." He popped open his bottle, sending the cap alongside its mate to the bottom of the river.

"You don't understand," Leon said softly. Cloud glanced to the side as Leon spoke, bottle to his lips. "I'm serious, Cloud," he continued. "This time, I'm serious."

Cloud looked down at the bottle in his right hand, idly reading the label—Corona Extra—while he thought of what he wanted to say. "You're serious," he muttered derisively. "So, what's it take for the ice prince to get serious?" The corner of his lip quirked up in a sardonic smirk.

Leon stared unblinkingly out over the water. "I'm just tired," he finally admitted. "I'm tired of working towards something that...might not even happen."

Cloud raised an eyebrow, and then leaned back on his elbows. "Tired," he questioned, "or scared?"

He observed Leon's back as one shoulder lifted in a shrug. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe both. Scared of what the future may or may not hold, but so fucking tired of trying to attain it." He was 25 years old—young, he knew—but he didn't know how much longer he could wait for the supposed spark that gave life meaning, the spark that everyone else around him seemed to have found ages ago.

They fell silent again, a warm summer breeze blowing steadily at their altitude. It was almost peaceful, being so far away from the rush of humanity. Were it not for the reason they were up there, Cloud thought it would have been a perfectly nice way to spend time with his best friend. He'd only moved to the city a little over a year and a half prior, but he felt closer to Leon than anyone else he'd ever known. After seeing his former best friend—his only real friend, at the time—killed in action, it was hard for him to get close to anyone again. A few months after he moved from New York to San Francisco to be nearer to Aerith Gainsborough, a girl he'd been friends with as a child, she introduced him to Leon, saying she had a feeling they'd get along well. At first, it seemed she was wrong, and all they did was fight. He had been on the verge of giving up on the friendship entirely when Aerith pointed out to both of them that despite their "fighting," they spent more time with each other than anyone else. After that realization, the two became nearly inseparable.

Cloud turned his eyes up towards the sky. "Didn't know you were such a pussy," he said lowly.

Leon turned around to aim a sharp glare at him, and Cloud quirked a smile. The brunet turned back around slowly, and Cloud sat upright again. "That's not all," said Leon.

"Oh?" Cloud tilted his head curiously.

"I..." It pained him to admit to any kind of weakness. The pain of admitting he wasn't as strong as everyone thought he was hurt just as much as the pain of feeling weak itself. He had always been the strong one, the one everyone could rely on, the one who was _there_. Growing up in a orphanage had been tough not just for him, but for all of the kids there. He just happened to be one of the oldest, and one of the most mature. The role of leader was one he grew into, and never grew out of. Once he left, it wasn't hard to secure an apartment and job at a construction firm. People trusted him because he was responsible, and acted older than his age, according to both his boss, Cid Highwind, and close friend, Aerith. But it was because of those two traits that Leon always felt lonely; he never connected well with other people his age. He was pleasantly surprised when Cloud entered into his life. He hadn't expected to get along with someone so similar to himself in temperament, and younger to boot. He especially hadn't expected the blond to be there for him in those moments when he most needed someone.

Cloud kicked at his leg, jolting him back to the present. He raised an eyebrow at Leon, encouraging him to finish his sentence. "I just...there's nothing. It's all meaningless," he said brokenly. "I don't have anything, or anyone. Who...would really miss me if I were gone? I'm tired of waiting for a future that might never happen."

Cloud rolled his eyes. Not to mention all of his other friends who loved him dearly, but... "Then why did you call me up here?" he asked quietly.

Leon froze for a moment, turning his head slightly to the side. "What?"

"WHY. THE FUCK. DID YOU CALL. ME. UP. HERE," Cloud all but shouted in Leon's face.

Leon narrowed his eyes and looked away. "Because I knew you'd bitch about it if I died and you weren't there to play cheerleader," he retorted spitefully.

Cloud was laughing before Leon even finished his statement, making a face in mock hurt as Leon punched him in the arm. He casually leaned back again, taking a sip of beer through grinning lips while Leon glared.

"All right, smart-ass," huffed the brunet, "then why'd you come?"

Cloud furrowed his eyebrows in apparent confusion. "What do you mean? You called me and asked for beer, so I brought you some," he replied.

"You could've ignored me," Leon pointed out smugly.

"I—fuck you," growled Cloud. "So sue me if I'm kind enough to grant a dying man's last wish."

It was Leon's turn to laugh, and the sound was so welcome to Cloud's ears that he found he couldn't stay irritated. His lips curled into a grin as he simply sat there, watching Leon laugh, admiring how the residual smile distorted his usually stoic face. It wasn't until Leon waved his beer bottle in front his face that Cloud realized he was even staring.

"What," he said, batting away Leon's hand.

Leon raised an eyebrow. "What? I've trying to get your attention for the past thirty seconds," he said.

"For what? We're sitting 200 feet above a fucking river, what's so damn urgent that you—"

"You were staring at me. For no reason," Leon noted.

Cloud tried to think of a response, but found none. Instead, he muttered something unintelligible beneath his breath.

"What was that, Strife?" asked Leon.

"I said, dumbass, if you're so serious about this, then get on with it," Cloud said more loudly, staring boldly at Leon.

It was Leon's turn to go speechless, and he turned back towards the water, a wry smile on his face. "Aren't you supposed to be trying to talk me out of this?" he said.

Cloud shrugged. "Not really," he commented. "I'm not a fucking psychologist or a police officer, am I?" When Leon only gave him a dubious glance, he continued. "I'm just your best friend, but I happen to know you a hell of a lot better than anyone else out there. And I know how useless it is to fight against you when you're being a stubborn asshole."

Leon didn't say anything for a while, fiddling with the nearly empty bottle in his hands. He leaned backwards against the metal support beams of the bridge, looking up and out at the world around him. "So," he said finally, "I guess this is it, then."

Cloud shrugged coolly. "The police are bound to show up soon, so yeah, you might want to hurry up," he advised.

Leon drained the rest of his bottle and set it down next to him. He stood up on the bridge, toes perched just over the edge, and looked straight down at the fall. He glanced over his shoulder to see Cloud still lounging on the bridge, staring ahead. "You're not even going to try to convince me not to jump?" he whined, allowing a hint of a smile to grace his lips.

Cloud considered him briefly, staring hard at Leon's face. The joking demeanor had evaporated from his countenance. "You really want me to try to convince you that badly?" Without allowing Leon time to respond, he set down his bottle and carefully stood up. As Leon took a step back to turn and face Cloud, the blond abruptly wrapped his arms around Leon's waist. It was then that Leon felt how fast Cloud's heart was racing.

"Don't leave me," said Cloud, his voice soft in Leon's ear. "I don't want you to do this. I'll do anything if you promise not to jump, because I need you, Squall. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're the only thing I have to live for. I swear, if you jump, I'll jump with you."

Leon's voice caught in his throat as an unidentifiable lump of emotion constricted his breathing. "Cloud..."

"I've never been more serious in my life," continued Cloud, "than I am being right now. Squall Leonhart, I love you so fucking much, more than I've ever loved anyone, more than I've ever hated anyone. If you jump off this bridge, your life won't be the only one you take." He turned his face to the side, brushing his lips across Leon's cheek, and then his lips. His right hand came up to gently caress the brunet's face as he kissed him, smoothing over the fresh tears rolling down Leon's face.

Leon pulled away with a soft gasp, turning his head to the side. "Stop...stop fucking with me," he whispered darkly.

"I'm not," Cloud insisted. "Well, at least, not yet." He rolled his eyes at his own stupid joke. "But if you get off this bridge with me, I promise—"

"Strife," Leon interrupted, his voice tight. He looked Cloud in the eyes and pulled away, crossing his arms over his chest. "This isn't funny."

"Who's laughing, Leon?" Cloud spread his hands in front of him in a gesture of peace. "You asked me to convince you not to jump, and here I am, trying. I'm in love with you," he said pointedly, "and I don't care if you like it or not. It's your choice, Leon. I'm here for you, and you alone. I'm willing to love you. I'm willing to give you a reason to live, if you want it," Cloud offered. "I guess my friendship was enough to save you in the past, but this time, you're serious. And so am I." He stepped closer to the edge, and Leon immediately grew alarmed.

"Cloud, what—"

"It's all out there now, isn't it," he said bitterly. "You just want to die, and I just wanted to love you. I was serious when I said you're my reason for living, Leon. If you don't want to live, then I might as well die now, too."

Leon's face contorted into a mixture of worry and severity. "Cloud, stop being so goddamn dramatic," he warned.

A mirthless laugh escaped Cloud's lips. "I'm not being fucking dramatic, _Squall_," he said snidely, his fingers twisting into his hair in frustration. "I'm being serious."

They stood staring at each other, heedless to time as it passed. What seemed like minutes was only the span of a few breaths before Cloud scoffed again.

"I suppose...you've made up your mind, then," he said quietly, glancing up at Leon through lowered lashes. "I guess this is...goodbye." Cloud flashed a quick smile at Leon, who only stared back with wide eyes. He extended his arm towards Leon in a friendly gesture. "Jump togeth—"

"Cloud!" Time telescoped until Leon was sure he could've captured a butterfly by its wings mid-flight if he wanted to. He watched in abject horror as Cloud took a step backwards, and his foot slipped from the edge of the beam. He saw the moment of clearly written panic on Cloud's face before it all melted away into a serene smile. He saw himself reaching for Cloud—their fingertips were almost touching, if he could just—a little further—

And suddenly, he was falling, too, hurtling downwards from 245 feet in the air. An intense panic arose within him—it wasn't supposed to end like this—until he felt a warmth surround him. "Everything's gonna be all right," Cloud whispered to him, before everything went dark.

–

"Sweet mother, and I'm the dramatic one," were the first words to make it through his foggy consciousness.

Leon was slightly disturbed that the higher deity who had possession of his eternal soul sounded eerily like Cloud Strife. He blinked his eyes open, at first blinded by the light after being in darkness for so long, and then slowly able to make out forms.

"Come on, dumbass, I haven't got all day to wait for you to wake up," said the Cloud Strife-sounding god, this time administering a gentle shove to his shoulder. Leon instinctively brushed away the hand and pushed himself into an upright sitting position.

"Where...am I?" he asked out loud.

Cloud snorted beside him. "Not in hell, which is where you belong for putting me through that shit," he snapped.

Leon looked sharply to his left to see Cloud sitting next to him, wholly unharmed, and looking slightly put off. "Cloud?" he said softly.

"The one and only," Cloud answered back. "You know, I wasn't expecting to actually have to jump to get you down. You owe me."

"Get me down..." Leon slowly absorbed his surroundings. They were sitting on top of some type of netting-covered cushion, and they were moving. Ahead of them, the bridge was getting smaller and smaller, which meant they had to have been heading towards the shore.

"Yeah," said Cloud, grinning brightly. "Ingenious, aren't I? You can thank me later."

"I don't understand," Leon said, confused. "I saw you jump—I fell after you—"

"Technically," Cloud cut in, "it was me who fell, and you who took the running fucking leap after me. I mean, seriously, Leon, you could've really hurt yourself pulling shit like that."

"So it was all...a set up?" Leon ventured.

Cloud nodded. "Of course," he said. "Didn't I promise you once that I would always take care of you? What kind of friend would I be if I didn't have a back-up plan in place?"

"Friend," Leon repeated mutely, and Cloud didn't miss the disappointment in his voice. He glanced off at the nearing shore, about to make another comment, when Leon continued.

"And how you threatened to jump if I jumped," he said slowly.

"I figured the guilt trip would be a really good last ditch effort," Cloud confirmed.

A heavy silence fell over them, and Cloud watched Leon from the corner of his eyes. He couldn't help but take satisfaction in the crest-fallen look Leon was struggling to hide. With a sigh, he decided to relieve the brunet's torture. "Of course," Cloud commented airily, "it also helped that I was being completely honest up there."

Cloud could feel Leon stiffen next to him, and before Leon could articulate his next syllable, Cloud leaned over and took his face in his hands. He glanced briefly into Leon's eyes before quickly claiming his lips in a gentle kiss. He pulled away with a soft sigh, saying, "I love you, Leon. The only lie I told you up there was when I said I should have let you jump."

Leon searched Cloud's eyes for any signs of a lie, suddenly desperately to believe him. He licked at his lips, unsure of what to say. Finally, he settled on a question that had been nagging at him. "How did you know I was going to follow after you?"

Cloud shrugged. "I was kinda banking on you being in love with me, too," he admitted, "but in case that didn't work out, I figured you'd feel guilty enough to follow me anyway."

"Guilty enough to jump off a fucking bridge?" Leon asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah," said Cloud sheepishly. "I mean, it worked didn't it?"

"I guess," replied Leon absently. "Wait—no, I didn't mean—it didn't work."

"Hm?"

"I—I love you," Leon said shyly. Then he nodded, as if affirming the fact to himself.

Cloud nodded as well, his lips thinned into a line. "See, now, if you had just said that on the bridge, you could have saved us both a lot of fucking trouble," he said pointedly.

Leon could only stare at him for a moment before laughter bubbled up from his throat. Cloud joined in, the brunet's grin too infectious to resist, and the pair of them soon had tears in their eyes. As they quieted down to mere chuckles, Cloud laid his head in Leon's lap, much like he'd done so many times before.

"So, what now?" asked Leon, absentmindedly preening Cloud's lengthy but soft spikes.

Cloud shrugged lazily. "Dunno. We could have sex. Lots of sex. In the kitchen, on the couch, in the—"

"I get the point," Leon said, slapping a hand over Cloud's mouth, a light blush painting his cheeks. "What next?"

Cloud moved Leon's hand away from his mouth and held it in his own hands. "Well," he said slowly, "you could move in with me. Not only would it be easier to have sex—" he quickly held up a finger to forestall Leon's protests— "but it'd be easier for me to keep tabs on you the next time you want to pull a stunt like this."

"And what then," Leon said with a slight growl.

"God, what is this, 20 fucking questions?" Cloud raised his eyebrow at Leon. "Oh, I know. I ask you to be my boyfriend forever and ever, right?"

Leon sighed. "Shouldn't that come before the sex and the moving-in?"

"Priorities, Leon, priorities," Cloud said sagely.

"I see," answered Leon. "And what next?"

Cloud pondered the question. "Hm. After we've been sufficiently sexed up and moved-in and boyfriend-ed, I suppose that's when we take on the world—aw, shit," he said, suddenly sitting upright.

"What?"

"I left the beer on the bridge."


	2. Chapter 2

**II**

The police boat arrived on the shore minutes later. As the boat docked and he climbed down from the safety cushion, Leon noticed the small crowd waiting for him and Cloud.

"Leon!" A sharp cry captured his attention just before a slender body slammed into him. Arms wrapped tightly around his waist, and Leon found him himself returning the embrace.

"—could you _do_something like this? Don't ever scare me like that again," said the teen. Leon only understood him when he pulled back far enough to stare at Leon with a stern expression.

"Sora," he said, feeling a twinge of guilt in his heart at the tears welling in Sora's cornflower-blue eyes. Leon looked to Cloud, but the blond only raised his eyebrows meaningfully and glanced away. Cloud had arrived in the city not much longer after Sora and his boyfriend, Riku. Leon had first met Sora in Dolores Park late one night, young, broken, and alone. After finding out that the boy was consistently abused at home, Leon made himself into a sort of second guardian to Sora, supporting him as much as he could. When Sora was eventually kicked out of his house and showed up on Leon's doorstep, Leon gladly gave him, and the boyfriend who had come looking for him, a place to stay. Eight months later, the two teens felt like family to him.

Leon sighed. "Sora, I...I'm sorry," he admitted lamely, frowning uneasily.

Sora regarded him fiercely for a moment. Then his angry stare faded. "I don't care," he murmured, "just don't ever do it again."

Leon nodded ashamedly. In the corner of his eye, he could see Riku standing feet away, arms crossed over his chest and lips thinned. Not quite angry, but...disappointed, it seemed. Leon couldn't fault him. He turned back to Sora, about to offer his apologies again, when another voice called out his name.

"Squally! Squaaaaaaaa—lly!"

His head whipped around, eyes narrowed, searching for the only person who would dare call him by his given name in such a public manner. He didn't have to look far, as Yuffie chose to tackle him from behind in a crushing hug.

"Squall, I can't _believe_you," she cried, her voice slightly muffled as she pressed her face into Leon's back. "I mean, you still owe me fifty bucks! How could you go jump off a bridge with that on your conscience?" Yuffie abruptly pulled away to stand akimbo, hands fisted on her hips, a pout on her lips. The 20-year-old local university girl had been mind-blowingly annoying the first time Leon had met her in the cafe he frequented every morning. But somewhere along the line, she went from mind-blowingly annoying to marginally intrusive, and if pressed, Leon would have begrudgingly admitted to enjoying her presence, from time to time.

Leon turned and ran a hand through his hair. He glanced down at Sora, who quickly put his hands in the air in a gesture of innocence. He sighed. "I'm sorry," he repeated, eyes downcast.

Yuffie's expression softened. "Aw, it's okay," she said, rolling her eyes. "But you really should think about these things. People here depend on you. People need you, Squall."

Leon glanced up at her, startled by her words even though, if he was honest with himself, he knew they were true. He looked to the side and saw Aerith nodding in agreement with a calm smile on her face. "It's true, Leon," she said. "We still need you here." Leon swallowed hard at her words. Aerith Gainsborough was one of his oldest friends. She had been there for him ever since he'd left the orphanage in which he'd grown up and moved to the city. She had a kind smile and a kinder heart, someone he knew he could always turn to for advice. It suddenly hit him how much he would have hurt her if he'd actually went through with his plans. He felt weak.

Leon could feel the warmth from Cloud's body as he moved slightly closer, hovering near enough at his side that Leon could feel their fingers brushing together. He looked around at their faces—Aerith, Yuffie, Sora, Riku—his friends, and felt a searing pain growing in his stomach. "I—"

"Sweet Jesus, ya li'l bastard," came the rough growl from Cid. Leon jumped as the man appeared as if out of nowhere and clamped a heavy hand around his shoulders. He was on pretty friendly terms with his boss; the man was like a foster father to him. "This what the fuck you get up to when you disappear on your own all the time? We're gonna hafta start usin' the buddy system with you, eh?"

Leon pouted and glanced away, noticing that Tifa Lockhart was standing just next to Aerith, and she gave him a cheeky grin. He blinked quickly to hide the tears that threatened to well up in his eyes. "I'm _sorry,_" he said again, his voice hoarse with unshed tears.

Cloud sighed. "All right, you've all had your fun," he said, easily removing Cid's arm from Leon's shoulders. He kept a stern look on his face as Leon turned to him, and stared down each of their other friends in turn.

"Ooh, Cloudy's pissed off," Yuffie squealed. "Squall's really gonna get it now!" She began to jump up and down in excitement until Tifa darted forward and shoved her.

"Quit it," Tifa hissed as Yuffie sputtered in indignation. "Leon probably feels bad enough as it is." She looked up towards her blond ex-boyfriend, a pleading look in her eyes. "I'll take care of everything here, but...Cass, go easy on him, okay?"

Cloud nodded, already taking Leon by the arm and guiding him away from everyone. "Thanks for everything, Tifa," he said, before turning around and dragging Leon with him.

–

Cloud shut his door behind them with his foot as he trailed Leon into his apartment. "Make yourself at home," he said, though the raised eyebrow Leon leveled at him told him he needn't have bothered. The two were at each other's apartments so often, Leon could have moved in without saying a word, and Cloud probably wouldn't have noticed the difference.

The brunet sat down on the couch in front of the television as Cloud disappeared into the kitchen. As he rested his forearms on his legs, hands lightly folded together, he finally noticed the fine trembling that had to have begun some time after they'd reached the shore. Seeing everyone's worried faces there must have affected him more than he realized. Even as he thought about it, about how scared they were, people he'd helped—people who'd helped _him_—tears welled in his eyes. How could he have been so selfish? So cruel?

His hands clenched into fists as he battled to push back the tears. One drop fell from his eyes, and then another, melting into the plush carpeting without a trace.

"Here," said Cloud from beside him, and Leon's face immediately turned towards the sound. He hadn't even noticed Cloud's return. The blond had one hand outstretched towards him, a glass filled with water in it. Leon accepted it gratefully, downing half the glass before setting it on the coffee table. Cloud sat down next to him, ignoring the flush that Leon was sure painted his face, and Leon was silently thankful.

Cloud picked up the remote and turned on the television, flicking to some inane channel and setting the volume low. He cracked open the can of soda he'd brought for himself and sat quietly, waiting for the questions he knew were coming.

Leon's first one was simple. "How?" he asked, his voice still rough with tears.

Cloud stared straight ahead. "When you called," he said, his voice flat from forced control over his emotions, "there was something different in your voice. I didn't think...I didn't know if I would be enough this time. So I called Tifa."

Tifa Lockhart was Cloud's ex-girlfriend, someone he'd briefly dated before he met Leon, and also a San Fran police officer; a lot of things suddenly made more sense to Leon.

"I told her my suspicions, and she helped me get a police boat out there. She called Aerith and the others, too, just in case you actually jumped. Moral support, you know," Cloud continued. He took another swallow of his soda before going on. "And the rest you know." The corner of his mouth lifted in the barest of smiles.

They lapsed into silence, the steady hum from the television the only noise for a while. Finally, Leon spoke up. "...Thanks," he said softly.

Cloud only shrugged. "For what? Now you owe me," he joked. Leon's lips turned up in a strained smirk, and Cloud nudged the back of his hand with his soda can.

"In all seriousness, you don't need to thank me," he said quietly, somberly. "There wasn't really anything else I could have done." Without Leon, he wouldn't have a _reason_to do anything else.

As Leon looked to Cloud's profile, the memory of himself and Cloud falling from the bridge flashed into his mind with sudden clarity. "Cloud," he started, struggling to put his thoughts into words, "on the bridge. When you—you—I don't know—" He stopped himself abruptly, trying to catch the breath that had suddenly disappeared from his lungs. After taking another drink of water and collecting himself, Leon tried again.

"On the bridge. You jumped...fell so easily," he stated. _Too easily,_his mind was screaming.

Cloud remained silent, examining the can of Pepsi in his hand like it was the most interesting thing on the planet.

Leon's breath caught in the back of his throat. "Cloud," he said guardedly, "are you—are you—" Leon couldn't even bring himself to say it out loud. He had to be wrong; there was no way—

"Aerith is the only one who knows," Cloud finally admitted. "And now you."

Leon's hands shook violently, and the glass almost slipped from his fingers. He set it on the table and folded his hands together tightly. "How—how long?"

Cloud tilted his can of soda. "Since way before we met," he said, "so don't go guilting yourself over anything. And if it weren't for my own suicidal tendencies, I probably never would have talked to you in the first place." He reached over to grab Leon's left arm and pushed aside the leather armbelts that hid the patchwork of pale scars. He ran a thumb over the smooth skin, saying, "It's easy, if you know what to look for."

Leon watched silently as Cloud released his arm and sank back into the couch. "Have you ever tried to kill yourself before?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Cloud nodded. "I jumped off a small bridge when I was a kid. Broke my leg, concussed myself, and almost drowned," he said. "Slit my wrists in a bathtub once, as a teen. Went into hypovolemic shock before a co-worker found me. Ironically enough, he was violating a restraining order I had gotten against him for stalking me. Asshole saved my life. After that was when I joined the army, if that counts, too."

He took another sip from his Pepsi. "Most recent one, I set my apartment on fire after getting shit-housed. Passed out from something, not sure if it was smoke inhalation or just plain drunkeness. I don't remember anything for about three days after that. Aerith said she had tried to call me, and when I didn't answer, she called the police. Obviously they got to me in time.

"I haven't really tried again since moving here," he finished. "I've been too busy with your fucking suicide attempts to even think about my own." He rolled his eyes sardonically; it really wasn't that far from the truth.

Leon shook his head in disbelief. Had he been so caught up in his own problems that he failed to recognize his best friend's needs? "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

Cloud shrugged again. "I've never really been one to talk about my problems with friends," he said freely. "And besides, what could you have done—"

"What could I have done? I could've have done a lot, Cloud," Leon burst angrily. "I could have talked to you, I could have been there for you, I could have—"

"Done all the things you were doing for me anyway?" Cloud pointed out with a smile. "I don't think you understand, Leon. It worked both ways. As therapeutic as you found talking to me, I found listening to you just the same. It felt...nice to actually be able to help someone, for once." It was what Cloud had feared the most when Leon called him sounding like he had, that he really wasn't fit to help anyone in the end. Not even the man he loved.

Leon sat back into the couch, all of the anger draining form him as quickly as it had appeared. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose with one hand, and sighed. "We're fucked up, aren't we," he declared.

"Yep," agreed Cloud, grinning widely as he finished his soda and tossed the can over the back of the couch.

Leon sent him a side-long glare. "Don't be a smartass," he warned.

"Better than being a dumbass," Cloud retorted sharply, raising his eyebrow. "Which you are, if you didn't catch that."

Leon tried to shove Cloud with his shoulder, but only ended up gently resting his head on the blond as the will to fight drained from his body. Cloud ran his fingers through Leon's shoulder-length hair once, and didn't try to move him.

Until, that is, his arm started to go numb. "Okay, look, your head is really fucking heavy," he said bluntly. He lurched towards the right, trying to bodily shove Leon away from himself.

Leon retaliated by letting his body go limp and throwing his torso over Cloud's lap. "Hey!" Cloud exclaimed, hastily shifting so none of his assets were in immediate danger. "I realize you're eager to suck my cock, but dropping your two-ton head on my dick isn't going to hurry the process along, fatass," he snapped hurriedly. He pushed at Leon's shoulders until the man finally acquiesced and rested his head on arms folded over Cloud's legs.

"Keep that up," he advised, looking up at Cloud with baleful grey eyes, "and I'll bite your dick off completely."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "But you still want it in your mouth," he pointed out.

Leon blushed a brilliant shade of red and turned over so that he was facing away from Cloud. "I'm taking a nap," he growled.

Cloud snorted. "Not on my cock, you're not," he said, and he tightly grabbed hold of Leon's waist. Before the brunet could argue, Cloud hauled him upwards and shimmied downwards at the same time, pulling them into a position where he was comfortably resting on the couch with Leon flush on top of him.

"There," he said satisfactorily with his arms wrapped around Leon, "feel free to fall asleep as you wish. But don't complain if you wake up on the floor."

Leon didn't say anything, choosing only to prop himself up on Cloud's chest and stare at his bright blue eyes. There was a slight tightening in his chest, a reaction to the thinly veiled care Cloud was showing him—attention that Leon had failed to particularly notice in the past. In that moment, he swore he would never be so oblivious again. Moments passed where neither of them said anything.

"What," Cloud asked, "you want to talk some more or something?" It was disconcerting how he couldn't exactly discern what the tiny glimmer in Leon's eyes was.

Before he could ponder for too long, Leon reached up and kissed Cloud's lips without preamble. Cloud's mouth opened with shock, and Leon took the opportunity to bite at his lower lip, quickly tasting the inside of his mouth. He pulled back almost hesitantly before diving back in, this time more confidently as his tongue swept across Cloud's. His right hand reached up towards Cloud's face, his fingers curling so that his knuckles brushed against the blond's jaw.

Leon pulled away reluctantly, a thin and easily broken string of saliva keeping them connected. "Or something," Leon said, his voice little more than a rumble against Cloud's chest.

"Huh," replied Cloud, unable to think of anything else to say.

Leon smirked. "Forgot about your plan already, smartass?" He didn't give Cloud the chance to reply, covering his lips again. This time, Cloud was ready, and aggressively pushed his tongue into Leon's mouth. One of his hands crept up the planes of Leon's back while the other tangled in the brunet's thick locks. Leon willingly allowed Cloud to take the lead, his fingers clutching tightly onto Cloud's shirt as he moaned softly.

Cloud pulled away for a moment. "If you're implying that I've forgotten my priorities," he said silkily, "no such luck, asshat." A smirk crossed his lips as a brief look of shock played out on Leon's face, and then faded back to his usual casual indifference.

"Good," Leon replied, pecking Cloud on the lips. "I don't think I could have handled it if you actually wanted to talk." Beneath the joking nature of his words was the tone that in all honesty, he really wouldn't have cared if Cloud wanted to talk.

Cloud rolled his eyes. "As if," he drawled. "Besides, I'm not the woman in this relationship."

Leon narrowed his eyes, all joking suddenly pushed aside. "Oh, really?" he said icily. "I could have sworn you were the biggest bitch in existence."

Cloud kept a straight face. "Second only to you, of course," he answered easily. "I mean, goddess knows you're dramatic enough, and you certainly—hey!"

Leon took a swing at Cloud's face, only to be blocked as the blond brought up both of his arms in defense. Leon continued in his attempts to strike at Cloud, sitting upright and pinning Cloud down with one arm while punching at him with the other. Cloud squirmed and dodged as best he could while lying down, laughing all the while.

"Leon—ow, Leon, that's not—you're _hurting_me, fuckface," complained the blond.

"Call me a woman one more time, you shit-for-brains jackass," retaliated Leon. He swung at Cloud's shoulder, almost landing what would have been a very painful punch, were it not for Cloud's quick instincts. Cloud grabbed at Leon's arm and, using a combination of the man's own momentum and his body weight, tossed him over to the ground. Before Leon could catch his breath, Cloud scrambled off the couch to straddle Leon's waist.

"What do you say we reconvene in the bedroom?" he asked with a grin, bringing his face close enough to Leon's that he could count his eyelashes.

Leon narrowed his eyes. "Don't think I've forgotten about this," he said after a moment, pushing up at Cloud's chest.

Cloud hummed in acknowledgment as he helped Leon to his feet with an outstretched hand. Then, without any warning whatsoever, he wrapped his arms around Leon's legs and hoisted him over his shoulder.

Leon let out an undignified yell at the sensation of being thrown over Cloud's shoulder. "What the _fuck,_" he hissed, clutching maniacally at the back of Cloud's shirt.

Cloud wrapped his arms tighter around Leon's legs, holding him firmly in place even though he tried to flail. "Glad to hear your mind's on the right track," he commented, making his way into his bedroom. The door stood ajar, and he gently pushed it open with his foot. "Close that for me?"

Leon fumed. He seethed. He hissed. But still, he reached out an arm and closed the door. "This doesn't mean anything," he growled.

Cloud gently lowered Leon down onto the bed and crawled over him. "Yeah," he agreed, nodding his head, "'cause we're both two fully consenting _male_adults who know exactly what we want from each other." He punctuated his statement with a light kiss to Leon's lips, bracing himself on his forearms above the other man with a small smirk on his face.

Leon's face went still. "Do we?" he asked quietly, staring Cloud in the eyes. After a few seconds, he glanced away uncomfortably, sighing softly to himself.

Cloud's breath hitched as he opened his mouth to answer but found no words. "Leon," he started, tapping at Leon's face to get him to look at him, "look. I don't claim to have all the answers. Hell, I probably don't even know half the questions. But I know that I at least have to try. You give me a reason to keep living, to keep trying. I have trouble finding a reason to live for myself, but with you, I suddenly have a purpose. You remind me everyday that there's at least one person on this planet that I'm fit to help."

He paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm not trying to scare you, or push you into anything, but I meant every word I said. I don't think I realized it until recently, but I need you. You're the most important thing in my life, above even myself. I think back to my life before I met you, and I wonder how I ever survived. I just wa—"

Leon pressed his fingers against Cloud's lips, stalling his words. A light blush graced his cheeks as he rolled his eyes in slight embarrassment. He hadn't meant to question Cloud's intentions—God, the man jumped off a bridge for him. If that wasn't devoted enough, Leon didn't know what was. "I didn't mean it like that, Cloud," he explained. "I just...you don't even know what I want from you. How can you say all of these things, and I've never even..." Leon stopped, unsure of how to put his thoughts into words. His fingertips trailed down past Cloud's jaw and tangled in the hair at the back of his head.

Cloud only shrugged nonchalantly. "I might not know explicitly what you want, but I can tell what you need," he answered honestly. "Everybody needs somebody to love, right? Why should we be any different?" Even as the words left his mouth, Cloud couldn't believe he was saying them. Not even two years ago, he would have vehemently denied that he deserved to be loved, much less needed it.

Silence fell between them as Leon contemplated the blond's words, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth against Cloud's skin. "Okay," he found himself saying before he even registered the word in his brain.

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"

Leon nodded. "Yeah," he affirmed. "I trust you."


	3. Chapter 3

**III**

The smile that lit up Cloud's face warmed Leon to his soul. It was a look he immediately treasured and hoped to see more of in the future. "It won't be easy," Cloud warned. "I never assumed this would be easy."

Leon snorted. "To the contrary," he said, playfully flicking Cloud in the forehead. "If you're involved, it's bound to be as simplistic as possible."

It took a moment before Cloud narrowed his eyes. "Did you just call me mentally deficient?" he asked.

Leon's eyes widened. "Oh, no," he said dramatically, "you must be evolving faster than I thought if you understood _that_ one."

"Asshole," Cloud huffed, before brashly licking a trail up the side of Leon's face. Leon heartily voiced his annoyance and pushed at Cloud, entirely adverse to having his face loaded with spit. Cloud easily fell to the bed, pulling Leon with him so that the brunet was on top of him. At the scowl Leon gave him, Cloud merely grinned and scrubbed at Leon's face with the man's own shirt, pulling it off completely in the process.

"Crafty," commented Leon dryly once his shirt was flung to some corner of the room.

"Aren't I?" Cloud answered cheekily, leaning up to capture Leon's lips at the same time. He loved the way the taller man's body fit against his, the way Leon's fingers automatically twined in his hair. Even better than that, he loved the feel of warm skin underneath his fingertips as he smoothed his hand over Leon's chest and up towards his face. Cloud eagerly swallowed Leon's moan of appreciation, tracing his bottom lip with his tongue as they pulled apart.

Leon remained silent, his eyes trained on Cloud, as the blond lightly touched his lips and the bridge of his nose. "Can I ask you a serious question?" Cloud said, looking to Leon's eyes for permission.

Leon nodded, and he could feel the moment of hesitation in Cloud's fingers as he touched them to his scar. "How'd you get your scar?" Cloud asked softly. It was something he'd never asked before, because he hadn't wanted to pry. Leon never volunteered the information, either.

A shuttered look crossed his face, and he tried to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine at the memory. "Someone who I thought was a friend gave it to me," Leon said dully, "when he found me cutting. He grabbed my hand to stop me, and I lashed out instinctively. I cut him across the face, and then he grabbed the razor from my hand and cut me back. Never saw him again after that."

A distressed look crossed Cloud's face, and his fingers froze. "I'm sorry," he said, pressing an apologetic kiss to Leon's lips.

"Don't be," Leon said, averting his gaze. "Wasn't your fault."

"Still," said Cloud, kissing at Leon's neck, "he hurt you. I'm sorry you had to feel that pain."

Leon sighed, realizing there was no arguing with Cloud. "Whatever," he sighed. "Thanks."

Cloud hummed his approval, running his fingers over the scar once before curling his hand around Leon's neck. Their lips met again, just a gentle press, and then Cloud lay his head against Leon's chest with a heavy sigh. For a few moments, the only sound he paid attention to was the heavy thud of Leon's heartbeat in his ear. It was soothing.

"Hey, Leon," Cloud asked as something suddenly occurred to him.

"Yeah?"

"Are you, uh..." He trailed off, a little bit unsure of how to approach his next question, but decided to go with his usual blunt tactic. "Are you gay?"

Leon closed his eyes for a second, and then stared straight up at the ceiling. "Um," he replied. "Not that I'm explicitly aware of." He'd been in only one serious relationship before, with a girl named Rinoa Heartilly, and he had genuinely enjoyed it while it lasted, but he couldn't recall ever having been attracted to another guy. Except Cloud, apparently, and he hadn't even noticed it.

"Huh," said Cloud passively. "That's really interesting."

Leon let it go for a few seconds before he asked, "Why's that?"

Cloud laughed, a short chuckle that warmed Leon's skin. He propped his head up on his arm so he could look Leon in the eye. "I'm not gay, either," he said, eyes shining with mirth.

Leon looked at him with puzzlement, and raised his eyebrows. "You mean you've—"

"I'm not gay, Leon," Cloud interrupted with a snort, his grin fading.

Leon smirked. "Could've fooled me," he couldn't help but jibe.

Cloud gave him the strongest glare he could muster. "Why would you assume I'm gay?"

Leon sighed impatiently. "I never said I thought you were gay. I just thought you had...you know," Leon said, scrambling for words. "I thought you'd done this before or something," he finished lamely.

Cloud's frown grew sterner. "And why is that? Is there something about me that just screams, 'I like to fuck guys up the ass'?"

Leon fought the urge to smack himself. "_No,_" he said. "But if you're going to be like that, the excessive hairdo doesn't help your cause." He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "I'm sure all the girls wanna fuck a guy who spends two hours longer on his hair than they do," he said sardonically.

Cloud's eyebrows lifted. "Oh? You wanna go there? At least I'm not the one walking around looking like a fucking bondage queen," Cloud attacked with a scoff. "Seriously, at any given moment, you're wearing six belts too many. What's wrong, tired of men grabbing your ass?"

Leon turned on his side, propping up his head on his hand. "I know you wish you had that problem, Strife," he said snidely, "but don't be jealous."

A sharp blush spread across Cloud's cheeks as Leon laughed. "I better be the only one grabbing your ass from now on," he grumbled.

Leon stifled his laughter and gathered Cloud back into his arms, patting him on the head. "Don't worry," he said, trying to appease his new lover, "I promise you now have sole grabbing rights."

"Good," Cloud growled.

They lay there in silence again, getting used to each other's presence in a new way. There wasn't anything really different about the way they were draped over each other, except maybe the possessive arm around a hip, or the gentle fingertips tracing over a shoulder; they'd always been obscenely comfortable in each other's personal space. There was something _different_ now, and they both knew it, but they didn't know what it was. Was it how close they'd come to losing each other? Was it the sudden revelation of too much personal information? Was it love?

No, they'd always loved each other. They just never knew it.

"Something's different," Leon observed.

"Yeah," agreed Cloud, a little too quickly.

"I hate you," said Leon, for old time's sake.

"Hate you, too," answered Cloud casually.

They each waited a moment. "So where do we go from here? In all seriousness," asked Leon.

"Why are you asking me?" mumbled Cloud.

"...Aren't we in this together?"

"Yeah, but," Cloud said, "I told you I don't have the answers. I know just about as well as you do where this is going. But what matters is where we want this to go. _Clearly—_" he gave Leon an extremely pointed look—"we both have problems. But just as clearly, we're willing to help each other out, right?"

Leon looked thoughtful for a moment. "It's up to us who we are," he said finally, "and what happens from here on out. There's no...right or wrong, just what's good for us." He looked to Cloud for confirmation, and then continued when he nodded. "So...it's okay if it's a little different. It's still good."

"Eloquent as ever," Cloud snorted, and Leon flicked his forehead.

"Fuck off," he said mildly.

"Bite me."

The two of them grinned at each other. Everything would be just fine.

"So, now that we're dating, I'm setting some rules," Cloud said, changing the subject.

"Rules?"

"Yeah."

"...Like what?"

"Next time we end up on top of a bridge together, you're buying the fucking beer."


End file.
